Tuesday, January 01, 2013

I miss me...

 I'm going to try to start blogging a little more regularly than every-three-years. I miss having the ME time, I miss having somewhere to get it all out, and I miss having something I can look back over and see where I've been, and how far I've come.

Since this is a major milestone for me, I'm totally going to start out with a long and important ground-breaking post. Well... it's long at least. Probably I'll come back soon and maybe give an update about where I am in life now, but not yet.. That's an even longer and more complicated story...

Today, I look like a vampire. And not even the bad-ass kind. The teen-angst sparkly kind. Holy fudge.

It's entirely not my fault. I blame it on school. Because dammit, if it weren't for school, none of this would have happened.

How, you ask? That's a long story.

I realized this morning with crisis #1 (the inability to locate my spanx), and with crisis #2 (the subsequent disappearance of my brow powder, an apparent necessity of my morning routine), that I have become that woman. You know the one.

Excuse me for a minute. PB just came in with a fully-loaded suitcase for our overnight trip tomorrow. We'll be gone all of 36 hours. I think she's packed enough for a week-long vacay. Oh my, I can't imagine where she learned that.

Where was I?  Oh yes, that woman.

The one who spends wayyyy too much time primping and prepping. High maintenance. I used to be a low-maintenance chick. My entire "routine" consisted of getting clean, and then maybe throwing on a little eyeliner. Mascara too, but only if it was a special occasion. I did eventually figure out what to do with all the other lotions, potions and pots of goo, (Read that as: I got a job at a makeup store and sort of had to learn it..) but except for work, it was still just a special-occasion thing. It was fun to play with my makeup and hair, and be girly once in a while. Once I had G and was a full-time stay-at-home, I went back to the happy-if-I'm-clean method of primping. And seriously, that boy was so high maintenance that I was totally happy if I had a shower without a major crisis. But I digress...

So there I was, perfectly happy if my entire routine involved taking a shower and brushing my hair. Then I went back to school.

Oh my Lord, want to feel old? Start your education on the downside of your 30s. Still, I would recommend it. Better late than never, and 40 is the new 30 and all, so really I'll only be 30 when I graduate. Sorta.

At any rate, I figured that it would do me good to get back in the swing of things and get used to having to get up and get ready in a reasonable amount of time day after day, because some day, I'm going to need to have to do that when I have a job, and it seemed perfectly logical at the time, until it spiralled out of control and found me doing such crazy things as trimming my eyebrows along with waxing and plucking, or flat-ironing my hair before curling it, or owning twice as many shades of lipstick as I do bras, or even shaving my legs on a day when no one (no one!) will see them, and now, NOW I look like a vampire. All because I went back to school.

Here's what happened: I was trying out a new eyeshadow, and following the instructions for a slightly different look, one which involves using a "highlight color".. well, my highlight color wasn't very highlight-y so I figured since I'm not going anywhere today* it would be ok to go a little less subtle, and I pulled out my sparkly dust. I was applying this to my brow, being very VERY gentle because the slightest twitch sends a cloud of sparkle everywhere like a miniature beanbag exploding all over my face (seriously, have you ever had a beanbag chair that sprung a leak? Those tiny little styrofoam dots stick to everything, go all over and show up weeks later like a reminder of that night you wish you could forget. That is exactly what this sparkly dust will do).

So then I dropped the sparkle brush. It flipped end-over-end in some weird slow-motion fashion. All... Down... My... Face.

And now I look like a Cullen. Thank God it's an overcast day out there. If I learned anything useful from those books, I learned that as long as it's cloudy, no one will notice anything.

*(except perhaps that giant obnoxious store that shall remain nameless, and everyone knows that it doesn't matter WHAT you look like there... so it's practically the same dress code as lounging around the house, only with more pants. Seriously, one of these days I'm going to wind up on that website.)

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