Friday, December 29, 2006

I'm a rotten person. Have i mentioned that before? I'm also adjusting to a new keyboard, so ignore any and all typos - I'm fixing 'em as fast as I can but the little fuckers keep sneaking in anyway.

But back to the rotten person thing.

Friend of mine got knocked up this week. Well, ok, about two weeks ago, but she found out this week.

For the first time in a long time, I was really, truly happy for someone else's pregnancy. Only happy.

Because, you see, she needed IUI.

And that makes all the difference.

I get so freaking excited about someone I know who struggles and turns up pregnant, but can't seem to muster up that same excitement for someone who just blindly, optimistically does the deed and gets a positive a few weeks later.

Only that makes no sense - I've gotten knocked up three times in my life. All three of those involved s-e-x. Sure, two of them involved drugs (metformin & met/letrozole, respectively), and this last one involved several IUI's, but I'm not sure it counts as needing IUI to get pregnant when you manage it on the month your IUI was cancelled, ya know?

Either way, I have a bias. If you get pregnant easily, I may be happy for you... but I will probably have some other feelings banging around in my head. If you struggle, I will be ecstatic. Pure, plain happiness. It's been this way for a while - I thought it would be different now, but it's not.

You can take the girl out of infertility, but you can't take the infertility out of the girl.

So to speak.

More on that soon, but we've got a houseful and I don't have time to do it justice right now.

In other news, I'm still reading blogs. I'm having a hard time finding time to comment on what I'm reading, but I'm out there and so many in blogland are on my mind. The good news is scarce lately, it seems, and I'm hoping that with the new year coming, 2006 will vanish for so many.. I know the scars of the year will still remain, but my wish for 2007 is that the wounds will sting less, and the news will be better.


Cricket said...

"You can take the girl out of infertility, but you can't take the infertility out of the girl."

That's a classic line. I think I'll go cross-stitch it.

DD said...

If that makes you a rotten person, then you are in excellent company. I feel the same anymore. Why should I be all thrilled for someone who is taking their ability to breed for granted?

Erin said...

I've felt that way for a long time! Not that I'd wish infertility on people, but it's easier to feel happy for someone who recognizes it for the gift that it is, rather than a "surprise" or an "oops", or the "We wanted to have a baby in May so we had sex in August".