Wednesday, January 31, 2007

I just can't leave this kinda stuff alone:

This gives new meaning to frozen sperm.

Whoa. I totally get where these people are coming from - after all, I'm the one who was considering freezing some swimmers so we could continue with our efforts even while DH was deployed (and yes, I'd have kept and used those bad boys even if the worst happened). I understand wanting to have your loved one's offspring no matter what. I'm all about saving and storing sperm or eggs in the event that they will be needed later.

.. but this seems a bit like a non-consensual donation to me. I mean, this man was deceased, he didn't ask them to remove his sperm and save it for later use. His parents went to court to get permission to use this sperm because he didn't ask for it.

I'm squicked out that the loved one in question here didn't plan this himself, or leave explicit instructions. Sure, they've proved that he wanted children... but if this guy's desire was to raise a child (as they've stated) that's not the same as just passing on his DNA.

I could be totally wrong here, and maybe leaving his genetic mark on the world was more important than being a father ... but I don't know too many people who want children who think that just procreating is the ultimate goal. It's all about being a parent. Not just about making a baby.

That, combined with the fact that his child will be carried by a surrogate, someone who was a total stranger to him in life, makes me question if this is right, if these grandparents are really following their son's wishes... or just carrying on with their own dream at his postmortem expense.

What do you think?


Heather said...

I see the points you are making and I think I agree...but I have to think that if I was one of those parents and my son died and I had the opportunity to have his child, I think I would. It may be selfish.

Furrow said...

Wow. How bizarre. I can certainly understand your reaction. I do hope that the man's parents have had some good grief counseling and that they aren't hoping to create a little copy of their son.

I tend to side with the needs and desires of living people over dead ones, though. After all, how will it hurt him now?

Kris said...

I agree with you. How many babies are they planning to make with his sperm? And if he didn't expressly wish for this to happen, I think there's definitely a problem- regardless of his parent's motives.

We also thought about freezing some of H's sperm when he was still deploying- just incase he was severely injured or exposed to some kind of toxin. But had the worst happened, I would have had a hard time using the sperm- I don't think I could have done it. And I know for a fact we planned to have children together.

This story gives me the willies and I'm not crazy about the precedent it sets.