Tuesday, when I bitch some more about what I'm eating... or not.

I'm still struggling with getting the right nutritional plan down.. it's been further complicated by the nurse-practitioner who told me at my last visit that she's never heard of imposing a gestational-diabetes diet on someone who was only insulin resistant.

Gee, make it a little easier for me to want to cheat on my diet, why don't'cha?

Throw in that a close family friend (who is diabetic) was told that her fiber-grams can cancel out some of her carb-grams to give her an adjusted "actual carbs ingested" number, which would allow me to be a bit more lenient on what I'm doing over here... and I'm back at square one, just as freaking confused as I was to begin with.

Naturally, confusion makes me angry.. control freak that I am. Confusion is the enemy.

I'm really angry that PCOS is so poorly understood that there's no protocol for treating PCOS during pregnancy.. it's almost like they figure if they can get you over the getting-pregnant hurdle, you're all set and no need to worry any more. Such bullshit.

I'm especially pissed off that no one - out of the doctors and nutritionists, dieticians and nurse-practitioners that I've seen thus far - will even consider the idea that metformin is not contraindicated in pregnancy. I am comfortable with the idea of met for the duration, but hell - what do I know, I'm just living with this.

And, uh, yeah, I did have to give up my met this week. Which is why I'm a little more sensitive to the whole topic. I've saved a few, just in case I feel the need to go overboard and eat, you know, a fruit salad or something.

I've got my first gestational diabetes test coming up this week or next, depending on when I can get someone to hang with the G. He's not a take-with-me kinda kid, and it's a walk-in lab, so I've got some leeway in waiting til someone can spend time with him. Plus it's not a fasting test, so I'm not as worried about planning ahead. The early GD test was the one compromise the NP came up with when I broached the topic of changing my diet unless until* I actually develop gest diabetes. So we're testing early to give me peace of mind and see if things are going ok so far with my diet. I'm all about easing my restrictions if I can - I feel like I'm walking a tightrope with my health and nutrition here. When I was following my diet 100%, I wasn't meeting my nutritional needs and started spilling ketones in my urine... but throwing it all out and going back to unrestricted eating scares me.

Still, if I'm not showing a problem now, I would be comfortable changing to a low-sugar but less restrictive diet.

I'm not entirely comfortable making all the decisions about this, though. I want someone - who is trained and knowledgeable about PCOS - who can give me a little guidance. I feel like I'm flailing around in the dark. Kinda like playing pin-the-tail-on-the-diet, but with this damn blindfold on, I can't tell if there's a better way than what I'm doing... and there's a lot at stake here.




*not that my doctors give a rip, but studies are showing that women with insulin resistance have something like an 80% chance of developing GD unless metformin is continued throughout the pregnancy.