Ahh.. crap.

I had an idea for a blog entry earlier, but now I can't remember what it is.

Maybe if I sit here for a minute it'll come back to me. I hope. Otherwise, this could quite possibly win an award for the least interesting blog entry ever.

Oh yeah, I remember.

I've had multiples on my mind lately, and I can't tell if it's my dormant psychicness finally shedding some light on my future, or if it's just plain fear. Either way, I've had a lot of multiple-reminders. Thursday, it was the babies at the lab. Friday, it was the conversation with Grape's ST. Today, it was a conversation I had with my mom. She had saved me a newspaper article from the other day about families with triplets. It wasn't the usual fluff piece you read about "oh how cute - three babies!", but a more realistic look at life with triplets (of the three families they profiled, only one did not have major medical issues they were dealing with in their children). My mother is paranoid about "litters". I think I've mentioned this before, mom's heart is in the right place, but her mouth sometimes isn't. We've had some pretty frank discussions on what's going on with my body, which is weird - this is the woman who has never had a discussion about S-E-X with me. No S-E-X talk, but she knows all about my infertility, my problems with clomid and exactly how an insemination works. Mom's got a medical background, so she's fascinated by the whole thing, even if she doesn't understand it all (back when she was a nurse, there was no clomid, no IUI, no IVF). The down side to this is that she also has spent some time researching the scarier outcomes. She saved the article for me because one of the women profiled had an insemination planned that was cancelled when her mid-cycle ultrasound showed five follicles. Sound familiar? It did to my mom, too.

I'll admit, the article was a little scary to read. It blew some of the sunshine-and-roses off the "cuteness" of having multiples.. and the fact that it's the third reminder I've had of twins/triplets in as many days might make me think.

If I were a superstitious woman*, I'd say this is either some cosmic foreshadowing or a hint that maybe next cycle, five should be enough for me to say "no, thanks".**


*ok yeah, I am superstitious. Very superstitious.

**Not that I wouldn't love three children, if we were fortunate enough to find ourselves pregnant, but it's not my preferred outcome. I have seen what happened to my body when I was pregnant with one.