Monday, July 10, 2006

Chugging along.

I'm as spontaneous as the next girl (ok, not really), but sometimes a little predictability might be nice. I've been doing this same dance with my reproductive organs for many, many months, and we're not in a rut yet. Every day, it's something new. Most of that is because of my PCOS. I described it to a friend once as living with the Little Ovaries that Couldn't. They chug along, day after day, repeating "I think I can, I think I can", and they're trying.. but they can't.

The way I understand PCOS*, my ovaries really do try. My entire body gears up for ovulation, but something goes wrong at the last minute, and nothing happens. I have all the signs - cervical position, cervical mucus (what a gross word), positive OPK**, everything's going along swimmingly, and then ... nothing. That's happened twice this week. First it was Tuesday, when I expected to ovulate. Then Friday, it was false alarm two. I'm still holding out hope that Friday was the real deal, because, well, B was home on Friday. I even had a two-day temp rise on my chart, which added a nice little plateau to the Swiss Alps I've got going on.

Today, my temp dropped drastically. And I am confused. I should be grateful - confusion is the one predictable part of my cycle.

Today could be an anomaly, and if I were a patient person (hahaha!), I'd wait it out and see what tomorrow brings. Either way, that will tell me if I have in fact ovulated (although it won't really clear up the Tuesday/Friday puzzle, but hey, I'll take what I can get).

And then, I actually found myself wondering "could that be an implantation dip?" at three-freaking-dpo. (which is, of course, insanely early for implantation).

I marvel at my optimism sometimes.

*totally non-scientific, and I could be wrong, but right now it's as good a theory as any, considering how much is unknown about pco

**I just have to say this, because I am incapable of typing "opk" without adding it: I hate, hate, HATE them.

1 comment:

ms. c said...

Hope and Optimism aren't bad things...
They are what keep as chugging along in this journey.