Unqualified or underqualified?

So.. what's going on in the reproductive front? Not much. Tonight is my last night of clomid, and I'm a bit disappointed at the lack of side effects. I've only gotten bitchy a few times (although my loved ones may disagree), my 'visual disturbances' have been more annoying than fun this month, and they've come with a migraine more often than not. The one side effect that I can count on absolutely is that clomid will rob me of my sex drive, and that one, not so much fun... although I do find a bit of humor in the fact that so much IF treatment comes with abstinence, either voluntary or otherwise. Yeah, we're trying to make a baby so we've quit having sex. (note to the stupid woman last week with the "I know what causes that" comment: apparently sex is NOT the cause. so there.)

I have my mid-cycle ultrasound Friday. That's very much on my mind. I'm past the early innocence when a mid-cycle scan only meant a chance to look at the beautiful follicles I'd made that might one day become a beautiful baby. I am pretty sure that my June Cycle cured me of that. At least, that was the last time I remember going into a mid-cycle appointment without a little fear. There is a fine line when it comes to egg production, and I have been toying with the too-many-eggs side for the last few months. This is probably the month where I will have to draw that line in the sand, and decide just how many is too many for us. It is a very sobering realization. I fully understand the desperation, the fear of missing an opportunity by not taking a chance. That fear is heightened by knowing that our chances are few and far between, and I worry that I'm not qualified (or rational enough) to make this decision.

I suppose this is part of what people think of when they say ART is 'playing God'. I wonder if they know what an uncomfortable position it is.