Thursday, July 06, 2006

Doctor Visit, part I - The Infertile Assault

i had to write this as a two-part entry. i had two very different thought processes going on this morning, and they just don't go together well enough for the same entry. so here's part 1:

Grape had an appointment for his school physical today.*

The hospital where Grape's doctor practices is no place for the fertility-challenged. Military wives are generally legendary for their fertility (sadly, it's not contagious), and there are always a ton of pregnant women and newborns at the hospital. They tend to cluster in two main areas: the women's clinic (ob/gyn/infertility) and the pediatric clinic. You know, the two places I am forced to visit regularly. It's a conspiracy, not a coincidence, I tell you.

After we survived the stroller gauntlet on the way to the peds clinic, the infertile assault began in earnest in the waiting room. I was accosted by a woman with a four-year-old son and a two-week-old daughter. And no more! Ever! Because she has her "perfect set - one of each!". I know this because she felt the need to share it with me. And then the interrogation began. She asked how old Grape was, if he was my only (always an awkward question - while he is my only, he has a brother. I don't like to share my entire life's history with strangers, except here, of course, but any simple answer to that question feels wrong; either I'm denying T, who is very much a part of my family, or I am denying T's mom by claiming him. No-win situation).. and then she pulled out the big guns "are you planning on having more?". Why, oh why would you ask a perfect stranger that question? I realize that the babymoon and newborn-stage sleep deprivation make you stupid, but still..

Thankfully, I wasn't subjected to that for long.. but the infertile assault continued in the immunization clinic. Grape needed a chicken pox shot. I had put it off as long as I could, but the time had come. Before Grape could get his shot, I needed mine. Only, they forgot to tell me that this is a two-part shot. We had a bit of an awkward moment when they told me I had to come back in 30 days for the second half. Caught unaware, I blurted out "but.. but.. I might be pregnant then". Yeah, I actually said that. Out loud. **

I was pretty happy when they let me go, and we headed off to the safety of the lab for Grape's bloodwork.. which turned into a whole new fertility-related issue. A lot less comedy, and a lot more introspective thinking (punctuated by the hysterical shrieks of my child). But that's part 2.

*small funny - the guy taking my info asked how old Grape is (almost three) and then asked if this physical was for kindergarten... yep, because so many almost-three-year-olds enroll in k'garten.

** lest my optimism hurt my fertility karma, i should point out that i followed that up with "well, probably not, but it is theoretically possible"

No comments: