Friday, September 22, 2006

Personal Hygiene

Thanks to dd's 'stache, I remembered what I wanted to blog about.


Specifically, hair in the public* region.

But before I get to that, let me explain why I'm super-sensitive to this.

I'm not exactly hairless. As a teenager, I blamed it on my Italian heritage (after all, Gramma has a moustache, so it's not exactly unheard of in my family). While I'm proud of my ancestry, I could live without the fuzzy upper lip. I've been pretty vigilant about plucking, waxing or otherwise removing for over half my life. That makes a girl a little sensitive.

Particularly a girl who has a 'stache, extra-hairy legs, and Hobbit-toes.

It never occurred to me there are other, more private areas that can have excess hair. Until a few months ago.

While discussing the various fun symptoms of pcos with my doc, he mentioned that I did indeed display a bit of the PCO-related hair.

Which would be fine (I know I have a 'stache), except he was giving me a pelvic.. and he wasn't looking at my face when he said it.

O..M..G.. In retrospect, I think he was talking about that little area of my stomach just below my belly button. But since I was too freaked to ask, I'm not sure.

And that's made me a little sensitive about that part of my body.

I'd never really thought about it before. After all, it's not like I've made a study of other womens' foliage. Really, the only ones I've ever seen are in those movies, and they're .. uh.. manicured lawns. Since I don't have any comparison, and my doctor did make that comment, I'm a bit self-conscious when I'm going in for an exam.

I may not always shave my legs (it's not like I'm dating my doc), but I do tend to take care of the public region.

Until last week.

See, I'd tried out this new cleanser in the bathroom. My tub has never been so shiny! Or slippery! Yeah, the slippery part was a bit scary when it came to standing on one leg and shaving. I gave up halfway through. The half I didn't get to was sorely in need of attention. Since B had been gone, and I had not visited my doctor in quite some time, it had been neglected far too long. I promised myself that I'd find time to finish before my midcycle wanding.

Only my appointment was in the morning, I'm not a morning person, and I got up late enough that I had time to either shower & shave, or shower & run over to the neighbor's for coffee. Caffeine won out, and I had to go to my appointment with one half of my junk screaming bring me a razor! or a weedwhacker! for the love of God, trim this!

Doc NoHumor didn't exactly say anything, but he did tell me to get dressed before we talked about my scan, saying he preferred to talk to women with their pants on.** Naturally, that made me wonder if he was freaked out by viewing my unintentional pube-goatee, and I am doubly committed to ensuring that my parts will be suitably well-groomed for future visits.

Does that make me weird? Is it normal to worry that my doc thinks I'm a freak of nature?

I have no idea...

*no, that's not a typo... as many people as have viewed my goods, the word 'public' seems more appropriate than the other word.. and probably far fewer freaky google hits this way also.

**yeah, if it were anyone but him, I might think that was a joke.. but there's a reason I call him NoHumor.


DD said...

Oh now, this was TOO funny! I worry about my exams as well, which always seem to land on my "off" days.

However I'm actually getting to the point that I forget to use the drape.

Kris said...

I shave legs and public areas for each wanding- I would be convinced I'm being compared with other "trimmer" patients- which I know (hope) is ridiculous. I know... I'm a freak. Although I agree with dd- I'm almost at the point that I'd rather just drop my drawers in the exam room rather than changing into the sheet.