Thursday, September 14, 2006

Bring on the clomid...

First, thanks to everyone who commented on my last post. It's on my list of things to bring up at my next appointment.

So... I called yesterday and made that appointment.

And now I'm having second thoughts. I don't want to take another month off.

But I really don't want to have another disappointment.

This ambivalence is interesting to me.

I'm just not feeling it this cycle.

I know we're going to go through with the IUI.

But I really don't have high hopes.

Is it possible to survive an insemination and the aftermath without feeling the tiniest spark of hope? 'Cause that's what I want. I'm setting my sights low this cycle. That way they won't have as far to fall at the end of the month. Maybe it will hurt less if they fall from a lower height.*

Better yet, Can I call a do-over on all this infertility stuff and just be normal?

*there is, of course, that small possibility that they will not fall... but at this point, that possibility feels really small.


DD said...

We can ask for do-overs?!



~r said...

Well, I figured it couldn't hurt to ask.

I've got to warn you, I asked for that do-over and... I'm still FC.

Must make a larger sacrifice to the reproductive Gods this month. Apparently giving up chocolate wasn't enough. Maybe they'll take a limb or something instead.