Assumptions

I love it when I jump to conclusions.

I got an email from B tonight, telling me not to make plans for Sept 23 as he has booked me an appointment (with a woman he works with) at her spa.

Being the good wife, I immediately thought of a few things:

He's trying to make friends for me again. This is a recurring theme in my life. I (still) have the phone number of another coworker's wife sitting here waiting for me to call about a play date.*

And (worse) this could be an appointment for the bikini wax he's been talking about. (he asked out of the blue the other day if I'd be interested in one of those... when I grilled him on how that entered an otherwise normal discussion, it turns out that they'd been talking at work about female pampering.. since I had at one point expressed a curiosity about the benefits of waxing vs. shaving, he had asked the female coworkers for recommendations on where to go when someone else brought it up. Sure, I was curious - in a philosophical way. I am a terrific wuss about that stuff.. the discussion took an abrupt side turn when I asked him how he felt about the thought of having the hairs ripped out of his netherregions... his big comeback was that I had experience with waxing and he did not. Apparently, for a man, having your eyebrows done is a starter-wax and qualifies you for a snatch-waxing next... more guy-logic for you, I suppose.)

My third thought: (potentially worst of all) we should be inseminating then.

Don't get me wrong, I love it when he's thoughtful, and it's a very sweet thing.. but I hate the idea of scheduling anything in insemination-day.

Not that the whole take-it-easy-and-relax thing has worked for past inseminations, but still.

Not that a mani/pedi is going to interrupt the seminal triathlon.

And I do like the coworker who would apparently be accompanying me for this.

The more I think about it, the more I'm looking forward to it.

I do hate the idea of scheduling my entire life around fertility. I'd like to have a life in addition to my inner girlparts even during ovulation week. At the moment, I'm doing fairly well at not obsessing except during O-week and the end/beginning of a cycle.

OK, being honest here, I'm not obsessing at all this month and I am enjoying the hell out of my off cycle. Maybe I need a pedicure now, just to show myself how much I appreciate not thinking about my ovaries. The box of pop-tarts I had earlier was nice, but not nearly as big a gesture as a pedicure, don't you agree?




*call me weird, but I hate calling people. It's not quite a phone paranoia, but it's close.