Thursday, October 19, 2006

I feel like I should be writing about how this weekend brings the day I should have been due.

.. but as much as I've stressed or cried about that fact over the last seven months, it seems like a non-event. Right now.

Do most people mark their shoulda-been days .. ?

Once we passed the last negative cycle before The Date That Should Mean Something, I pretty much worked out all my pissed-off-ness. That was the tough day, I think. Knowing I'd failed in my goal of being pregnant before I would have been birthing, that sucked royal ass. Getting through the actual date seems kinda anticlimactic... I'm a little worried I'll be blindsided by feelings because I think I've already worked it out.

Can I get through this without a massive breakdown? Man, I hope so, we've got a dinner out with the inlaws planned that night. Tho that does lend itself to some potentially hilarious scenarios, I'd still rather get through without sniffling into my dessert.

Wish me luck.

4 comments:

Krista said...

I'm sure that everyone reacts differently, but for me the day was anticlimactic. I had spent so much of the previous nine months angry and grieving. I had dealt with the anger and the grief when the 2 FET's didn't work and I knew I wouldn't be pregnant again. And although I remembered the day, I wasn't overly upset about it. It was like I had given everything I had to give.

I hope your weekend isn't too hard R.

DD said...

I still remember the "should haves", but the one I think of the most often and that can usually bring me to quiet tears was my first one.

It's OK to think about your baby because that was real. But I hope you make it through the day with a stronger heart.

Heather said...

I guess I'm too late to wish you luck but I hope it went well!

Erin said...

Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you.