Twiddling my thumbs

Not much going on, still.

I got up obscenely early this morning.

TMI - we attempted to go for a little recreational s-e-x and it hurt. OMG did it hurt.

I have a tendency to have swollen ovaries when I'm on clomid, so we practice a lot of abstinence in the 2WW. I thought we were safe today, I only had two-or-three follicles this month, so I figured they can't be that swollen (certainly not as bad as the cycle that overstim'd me and made me discuss my sex life with half the ER staff). That's what I get for being optimistic, eh?

Granted, I didn't wind up crying at my local hospital this time, but it was still uncomfortable enough that I didn't go back to sleep either.

I'm glad that I'm pissed off about this. The first time it happened, I fell into this pity-party about yet one more thing that infertility had taken away... that sucked. I'd rather be pissed.

My doc says painful sex while on meds is common enough that he likes to use IUI just so sex isn't necessary... and I didn't have the heart to tell him that while that took care of my procreational needs, it didn't do a hell of a lot for my entertainment needs. Sure, we could sign up for Netflix and watch movies every night for two weeks*... but damn, that's not exactly the same.

So it looks like my parts are out of commission for the month, and I'm Only. Five. dpo. (I think)

Hell of a way to spend the 2ww.

Especially since I know that early-morning insomnia was my first p-word symptom both times... the pre-dawn nookie was supposed to take my mind off the fact that I'm wondering if waking up at 5 AM two days in a row might be significant, when I'm only 5-freaking-dpo... ohhhh... the insanity...

Yeah. I'm twiddling my thumbs. I'm too afraid to twiddle anything else.




*every night... [snort] yeah, B wishes.