You can check out any time you like
But you can never leave
Gah. I was really not Suzy-Sunshine yesterday, huh?
It's cool, I've found my happy place and today is (so far) a better day.
What's that? Oh yes, my BBT did go back up. Funny how that affects my moods. I think I see why DocNH told me it would make me crazy to keep taking it. Imagine that. A doctor who was right. Rare indeed.
The other thing is that I woke up exhausted, like I didn't sleep at all. Odd, considering that yesterday I took a nap, got to bed early AND I slept in this morning. I had some bizarre dreams last night, so that may be why. I was kidnapped by Hugh Hefner, who wanted to force me to participate in some p*rn. Perhaps the strangest part of all this is that I was most pissed because I had no socks and my feet were cold. And then I got pissed because I only had these tiny, mismatched socks in my pocket. Four of them, one with Winnie the Pooh. Same pattern G had on a onesie as a babe. I was trapped there, surrounded by a moat of snapping turtles, but I got out because I found some spinach and mountain dew which gave me supernatural powers to influence the turtles.
I'm contemplating the meaning of that one.
I might never understand what it means, but I know what caused it. Fell asleep last night after watching one of those 'documentaries' on cable. About p*rn. Since I fell asleep in the midst of a hot flash, I was on top of the covers, with no socks. It's not at all unusual for me to stick G's socks in my pocket to remember to put them on him, and the whole Winnie-the-Pooh thing might just mean I've got babies on the brain, tho that's doubtful. The moat of snapping turtles.. uhh.. dare I admit I'm a super-geek? Hell, why not, I've admitted everything else... they were turtles from World of Warcraft. The spinach, obviously a Popeye reference, I guess I needed superpowers to overthrow the geriatric Hef? Who knows? And the dew... well, I've just been craving that this week.
Or someone in my household felt sorry for me yesterday and slipped some really funky stuff into my pot roast.
Because, you know, they adore me and will do anything to make me feel better.
For the record, I'm feeling better today. Please keep the funky mushrooms out of my dinner tonight.
I'm picking up more symptoms by the day. If I were an optimistic person, I'd put two and two together and come up with the answer I want, but since I'm FC, I'm adding two and two and getting 3. Three meaning maybe I should ask to switch from clomid to prozac.
Lots of people have compared infertility to a roller coaster but this month has been so much more. It's not a rollercoaster, it's the teacup ride... I've been whirling through elation and nausea and that let me off this thing feeling.. and I'm spinning so fast I've forgotten which way is up and which way is down.
G likes the teacup ride, I do not. I have to force myself to pretend to enjoy it every time.. and after pretending for a while, I relax and enjoy watching the thrill he gets from it. So maybe I need to spend the next few days relaxing and enjoying the thrills that G gets out of life.
After that, I'll deal with what's coming next.