Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Swing low, sweet BBT...

The downside to being BBT-obsessed is that it makes for a pretty shitty morning when my temp drops. Like it did this morning.

I suspect that I somehow have my number wrong - it is insane to believe my temp dropped a full degree when my period is not due for a week. In fact, I may have actually dreamed that number, but dutiful charter that I am, I put it on there anyway*. This is, of course, the problem with taking my temperature before I'm out of bed, what with that whole not-a-morning-person thing I've got going on.

I do know that at some point, I dreamed about putting that pitifully low number on my chart because I remember crying when fertility-friend took away my crosshairs, effectively saying maybe you didn't ovulate after all... but when I actually put it on there, FF did not yank my crosshairs... so that was indeed a dream. There is something colossally pitiful about dreaming about a BBT.. but then, I've admitted my addiction, so I am at peace with this.

I can't even convince myself it's an implant dip. I'm quite willing to believe that something fucked up is going on with my chart, but I'm not willing to believe that something is a good thing.

Not when I'm 8dpo and have 6 more days of this. A lot of hope can build up in six days. I'm just not going to open that door right now. If I can make it to November without my temp dropping, then I might start to hope.

*I do have another, better, number that I got when I actually woke up for the day, but since I'm afraid it's artificially inflated by possibly being awake earlier, I'm afraid to use it... besides, it was a small drop anyhow, and while my inner optimist can explain away a one-degree anomaly, a .3-degree drop is a sure sign that my chart is trending down...

1 comment:

Erin said...

I stopped charting about the same time I started taking Clomid. It completely blows my chart to hell. I was more confused charting than I was without it. Although it would be nice to see what's happening in my cycle sometimes.

Apparently we were on the same wavelength this morning with post titles!