Bring on the clomid...

First, thanks to everyone who commented on my last post. It's on my list of things to bring up at my next appointment.

So... I called yesterday and made that appointment.

And now I'm having second thoughts. I don't want to take another month off.

But I really don't want to have another disappointment.

This ambivalence is interesting to me.

I'm just not feeling it this cycle.

I know we're going to go through with the IUI.

But I really don't have high hopes.

Is it possible to survive an insemination and the aftermath without feeling the tiniest spark of hope? 'Cause that's what I want. I'm setting my sights low this cycle. That way they won't have as far to fall at the end of the month. Maybe it will hurt less if they fall from a lower height.*

Better yet, Can I call a do-over on all this infertility stuff and just be normal?





*there is, of course, that small possibility that they will not fall... but at this point, that possibility feels really small.