Wednesday, August 16, 2006

My own personal summer... with special apologies to friends & family

Oh. Shit.

Blogger just lost an entire post. I'm a little pissed since I thought I'd copied it, but all I copied was the last part. Damn. Damn. Damn. I'll try to recreate it as best I can...

Personal Summers.

That's what the women at my mom's office call their hot flashes.

I know this because I was slammed into my own personal summer while I was talking to her yesterday.

She had called to ask the results of our IUI. "I don't want to ask this, but I really want to know - did it take?" she said.

Whoops - the downside to telling the world our plans is that... the world wants to know the results.

Is it weird that I feel bad letting down my family and friends? They're just not taking it well. I want to tell them to relax, these things take time, it will happen eventually, maybe.

I think they're confused. They're newbies to this whole fertility challenged thing, and they have normal expectations. It's been five months since the miscarriage, when does the gestating start?

Maybe September*. Maybe October. Maybe next year. Maybe never. I don't tell them that last part, because I'm not sure they could handle it.. and if I'm being honest, I do believe it will happen.

When? That part I don't know.

Tomorrow's blog: How I ran into an tactless fertile aquaintance the other day and survived to tell about it.

*yeah, maybe september. i'm not planning that cycle yet, but B's schedule has changed again... so end of sept/beginning of oct looks possible, assuming there are no other schedule changes... and that, my friends, is the reason i'm not holding my breath


Heather said...

You survived - but did the fertile????

DD said...

This is why I stopped telling my friends. I'd have to relive all the hurt feelings and pretend it was no big deal.

~r said...

The fertile survived. We were in public, there were way too many witnesses for anything else.

.. and I'm up to five on the "friends who asked" count now. Bless their hearts, they all sound apologetic for asking. I'm just going to link them all to my fertility friend chart and let 'em stalk me there from now on.

It's only tough when I have to answer on CD1 or 2 - once I get to 3, I've moved on. I hate that I'm so used to disappointment that I move on that fast, but I'm glad I'm not still crying for weeks.