See ya, babe..

B left this morning*. We had to drop him off which is always hard - anything less than two weeks, and he just drives himself. More than two weeks, he needs a ride.

Not too long ago, I said that I didn't think B worries as much as I do about all this babymaking stuff.

I should have just laid down and waited for Karma to come make her "You shouldn't have said that" victory dance.

B was really disappointed in this past cycle's failure. One more gut-punch on this merry-go-round.

I feel worse for him than for me.

But we've had some good discussions this week. He's got a timeline on when he wants this to work. As in "no later than". No pressure though, it's not any time soon. My timeline has already been blown away. I wanted to be pregnant by October, before my due date. Not happening. I like his better than mine.

And he asked the "what now?" question.

Ooooohh boy, that's a big one.

The answer? Carry on, Sailor. We just keep going. We've only tried IUI twice, and even though I had high hopes for both, I know the odds. I'm not sure how many times we (or my doc) will be willing to try, but we've got at least a couple more chances. If that doesn't work, our next step would be to try & get into the IVF program. I know, I know "IVF isn't an option", but if I've learned anything, it's that whenever I make a broad statement, the Cosmic Gods of Irony will jump up to bite my ass and prove me wrong. (I am not pregnant... I am not pregnant... hey, it's worth a try) I know our priorities, and we will find a way to make it work if need be. The very thought of it still scares me to death, but that's a post for another day. For now, it's enough that we've got a plan.



*want more evidence that karma is out to get me? not 5 minutes after i typed this, he walked in the door. just to drop off some stuff before he went back to his ship, but still...